Pretend-friend.
There's this guy who went out with my friend for about a year, and he treated her like shit. She moved on, and so did he, slightly. He just broke up with whoever he was just doing. But in the 2 years since he and my friend broke up, I've been trying to maintain a friendship with him, because he seemed like a troubled person. He can hardly sustain relationships or friendships, has an immense superiority complex, and seems like a hardass with a lot of issues. And he and I were close at one point. Though I continued to be his friend, he started drifting away from me. I continued to try to talk to him, but he ignored me. So I said to myself, "F*** that." And just cut him out of my life.
And now he's trying to be friends with me again. He randomly started talking to me. Why? It's not just a coincidence that he started talking to me right after he and his last girl broke up. It's because he's lonely and horny and desperate. He wants me to hook him up with my BEST friend. Who, by the way, is also very close friends with my friend that he dated 2 years ago. Who does this bastard think he is? He ignores me. ME, one of the ONLY people that were there for him in the past 2 years. And then asks me out of the blue to hook him up with "any cute girls [I] know." I said no, and then he goes and starts NAMING my friends that he wants to get with. I told him NO.
I fking hate it when people ignore you and hate on you for the LONGEST time, until they need a favor. All of a sudden, they're nice to you and sucking up to you and kissing ass, and you KNOW it's bullshit. Hey, John, can you breathe with your head all buried in my ass?