To the IDIOT who tried to steal my car...
To the INCOMPETENT who broke into my car last night:
THANK YOU SO MUCH for BREAKING MY IGNITION in your INCOMPETENT attempt to steal my car. Presumably you think that because I drive a Saturn I must have money and you thought you’d find some just laying around inside. Well yeah, gee, thanks for taking the $3 IN CHANGE I had in the side of the door. This clearly shows that you have NO CLUE about the people in my (and presumably your) neighborhood. Have you seen the pieces of trash people drive around here? Mine just looks better because I keep it clean. If you have a bank account you probably have more money in it than I do right now, you piece of crap, and what little I do have will now be wiped out because of the towing & repair expenses, all due to YOUR INCOMPETENCE!!!!! I would have been much better off if you’d actually been successful stealing my car, because now the insurance company is DENYING MY CLAIM FOR THE REPAIR. SO DO ME A FAVOR YOU ASSHOLE-COME AND STEAL MY CAR TONIGHT, FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED so I can register it as a total loss. I’ll even leave it unlocked, not that it makes a difference because you somehow were competent enough to get into it even though it was locked and alarmed. Figuring out how I will get new wheels will be easier than dealing with these bullshit repairs! – IBF!!