Relationship HELP!
posted by Anonymous - 5:41 PM Nov 26, 2010
Tags: relationships, Family, Friends
have a dilemma. I’m in love and afraid. I want to let go, but I have been done so bad in the past, that its hard for me to envision a future where the one I want will actually stay with me. I am tall with a great body. I have a pretty face, I dress well; I take care of myself. I work hard, I am educated. I am a mother who puts her children first regardless of the situation. I try to reassure the man that he is important to me as well. I cook, I clean. I may not be able to provide a lot of material things to reciprocate the material things that I have been given, but I put forth a lot of energy into showing my man he is appreciated. So why is it, that when we get close, I freak? I dig for things. Its like I want to sabotage what I have. Why? I know part of it is because in the past, I did the same things I do now for a man. Only I trusted him implicitly and he was cheating on me the whole time. EVERYONE knew it but me. I was so blind to it. Now, I find fault in everything a man does. If he doesn’t kiss me the same, its because he has been kissing someone else. If he says I love you one time today, but yesterday he told me 15 times, it means he’s losing interest. If we don’t make love every night, he doesn’t find me attractive. How do I get out of this cycle? How do I become the sweet and sensitive, yet strong and empowered woman I want to be? When I am caring for my kids, my family, my friends, I feel that way. But when I am with a man, I feel so weak and inadequate. Ugghhh…how frustrating and confusing and terrifying this is.
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